


Fixes

by emokid6969



Series: Sad/Beloved [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Disability, Love, Other, Pining, Recovery, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:08:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28432935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emokid6969/pseuds/emokid6969
Summary: Harry begs.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Series: Sad/Beloved [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2082594
Kudos: 9





	Fixes

It isn't chocolate that saves them, but caramel. The Dementors had stolen vitality from Harry's soul, but, away from them, Harry remembers the things they said under their influence and tries not to die inside, tries to bolster theirself into something that Draco will hold again. Chocolate helps, of course, but it's caramel that sneaks into the cracks in Harry's heart and starts returning things of Harry's: suddenly, Harry has the focus to read again, if it's something that can bring them back to Draco. Suddenly, Harry knows what they should have done when the Dementors had them, knows the spells that would have kept their mind safe, kept their heart alive.

Harry knows that Draco has told Crabbe and Goyle horrible things, most of them true, in that it really was Harry's body doing those things, but Harry wishes, desperately, that Draco could understand that it was the Dementors, controlling Harry's mind, and not Harry theirself who did those things. Except that Draco understood the Imperius, understood the way to shake it off with knowledge of the ones Draco loved: Harry had been the one Draco thought of.

Draco, who had shook Harry after the Dementor attack, begged Harry to remember that Draco loved them. Draco, who had stayed by Harry and watched as Harry forgot them, forgot how to love anything. Draco who, towards the end, became sharp and cruel out of fear, trying to shock Harry into being human again, and then one day disappeared, leaving Harry in the hospital wing with a stack of books Harry still couldn't read.

And then caramel, which soothes the angry spirits haunting Harry's half-soulless body, casts them out, leaving only Harry behind, and Harry doesn't want the spirits back, not ever, but doesn't know how to grow their soul to fit inside their body anymore, not without Draco. Draco, who saved them. Draco, who promised to stay with them, always. Draco, who watched them become something entirely different, something un-Harry, until leaving wasn't really leaving Harry; it was leaving the abyss which was all the Dementors had left inside Harry. But Harry's back, Harry's real, and Draco not coming back is worse than everything Harry ever felt before.

Harry wants to show Draco that they're cured, at least in the heart, but they can still barely walk, and the hospital wing doesn't change locations: Draco could stop by anytime they wanted. Once, Harry casts a Featherlight charm on their own body and makes their way to Slytherin common, knocks on the door, begs for Draco to come back. Draco laughs, and Crabbe and Goyle laugh with them. Harry pretends that Draco is doing this to protect Harry from Crabbe and Goyle, pretends that Draco is protecting Harry's true identity, hopes fiercely that Draco is planning to head up to the hospital wing, any second now, any moment, now, _now_ , please, _please._

Harry's heart stays real, and solid, and absolutely crushed. Harry keeps eating the caramels, keeps researching the spells that could've saved them, keeps wishing for Draco.


End file.
